You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
