genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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