Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize