Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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