Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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