I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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