just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
