The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I smell like Dick and happiness
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
