I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
