we're chasing vodka with high fives
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
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