so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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