holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
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