PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
