Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Randomize