It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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