It's like God shit irony all over that family
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Randomize
