I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Just high enough for therapy.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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