therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize