just survived the first fart of the relationship.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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