While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
