this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
