What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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