Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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