So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Shame - the story of my life.
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