I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
