Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
