they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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