Fuck appropriateness.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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