I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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