We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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