I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
