OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
