just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
