Me. At least after what I've been through.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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