I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
