Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
