i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
