Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
