pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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