and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
