I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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