I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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