So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
