Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
