4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
