i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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