did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
