Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
home. puking in laundry basket.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize