Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
