he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
