Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
