i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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