Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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