is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
