i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
