Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
