Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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