Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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