I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
