I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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