im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
