how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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