its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
