a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize