I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize