I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
