Her vagina should come with caution tape.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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