wat bout pragnant strippers??
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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