Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
