You're so nebulous sometimes
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
