Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
