Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
