She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
My cat gives me a boner
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
