Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
