yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
